I mentioned in my first post I had worked at The Ministry of Social Services (MSS) as a Long Term Child Care Worker in Saskatoon. This was ultimately what started the foster parenting journey for us. I’ll give you some background into what I did. As a child care worker, your role is to represent the child in care. In my case, the children on my caseloads were wards of the province. This meant they were not going to be returning to family and they would primarily be living in Foster Care until they turned 18 or 21, depending on the circumstance. They were not eligible for adoption because they still had some family contact; the family was just not in a position to care for them on a regular basis or their needs were too great and they required more specialized care. This is a very broad description of it and there is always an exception to the rule, however this was the case for most of the kids I had on my caseloads. As the child care worker of a long term ward, I represented the province as the legal guardian for the child. In the few years I worked at MSS I had three different caseloads, each caseload had anywhere between 20-31 children on it. I would say they ranged from ages 8-21 with most of them being between the ages of 10-16.
This job was a giant learning curve for me. I did my Social Work major practicum with the Permanent Ward Unit (these kids were eligible for adoption) and when I was finished my practicum I received my degree and got a job immediately with MSS as a Long Term Child Care Worker. One of my first memories of being sent out on my own was going to meet one of the teenagers on my caseload at the group home she was living at called My Homes. She was 15 and pregnant and I was suppose to go meet her for the first time and begin making plans with her and the staff. I remember sitting on the couch and feeling very out of my element. I was 21, fresh out of university and being asked a ton of questions regarding the future of this youth and her unborn baby. It was clear to me in a matter of minutes that everyone in the room was in panic mode about this youth having her baby. No one was feeling prepared for it and everyone was expecting the social worker to have some answers and provide some security to the situation. I am pretty sure I was a disappointment to the whole group as I was as unsure as any of them. They were asking who would financially support her baby; since her legal guardian was the province, the group home and the youth expected social services to pay for her crib, diapers, stroller. They also wondered that if there was going to be an infant living in the house and needing extra support they questioned if MSS should pay the group home more money since they would be helping to raise the baby. They were asking who was going to support the youth in raising the baby; the group home staff certainly were not prepared to take care of a baby. They were being paid to take care of the youth, they hadn't signed up to also care for an infant. They had concerns about an infant being in a group home with other girls living there and how this dynamic would impact the house. This group home was not meant to house infants, it was meant to be a group home for teenage girls. The list of concerns and questions was huge and I left thinking I had taken on a job that was too big for me. As the job went on, it seemed almost every case was challenging and had its own unique circumstances with something hard for me to figure out. This was the time in my life that I discovered boxed wine, hot baths and the bachelor. Of those three things, hot baths were the only thing that was good in and of itself.
During my time at social services I met so many amazing people, resilient kids, dynamic youth and loving foster parents. I worked with a lot of group homes in Saskatoon. There are a lot of youth in care and they are a hard age group to find homes for. A lot of foster families foster young children (which is what Jeff and I plan on doing). The youth have a lot of history they bring forward; a lot of trauma, a lot of placements, and are usually struggling to find their way. They are a hard age group to connect with. They have been hurt, abandoned by people they trusted and have often created a hard exterior to protect themselves. In our last training module we were introduced to the Invisible Suitcase. The Invisible Suitcase is a suitcase that a child brings with them
we often can't see. Inside the suitcase are the beliefs the child has about themselves, the people around them, their community and the world. In truth we all hold an invisible suitcase. When I started my job at MSS my suitcase held the belief I was not equipped enough to handle the situations that were coming my way. I walked into foster homes, attended meetings and met with youth, and almost every time I went into it feeling like I had nothing to offer. I was always prepared for the worst in any meeting which made me nervous and on edge because I was mentally thinking of all the things that could and most likely would go wrong. Looking back on this now, I can't imagine the feelings of these kids and the thoughts they had and the things in their invisible suitcase. If I, someone who was educated, well supported and had many tools at my disposal felt ill equipped to handle the situations, how were these kids feeling? What was in their suitcase? What were all the things they carried with them everywhere they went? My heart hurt for these kids and I was drawn to the idea that I needed to be a foster parent some day. I wanted to be a daily part of these children's lives. I wanted to play a bigger part in their development and in their journey. As the social worker, I came in and out. I often found I was coming in during crisis situations and they only ever saw me when things got hard. This was not something I could always control. I had a large caseload and often I went from one fire to the next. When I could, I tried to take the kids out for ice cream or just spend time with them at their house, but I never thought this was enough. I wasn't making an impact and I didn't think I was helping in a major way. I wanted more. As time went on, it became more and more apparent to me becoming a foster parent was really the only way to achieve the desire to do more. So here we are; 2 or 3 months away from doing more.
If you would like to pray for us. Here are some prayer requests
1. Training. January is a big training month for us and we are travelling and attending group training sessions. Pray for safe travel, and meeting and making new friends and supports in the foster parenting world.
2. Transitions. We have talked to our kids a lot about what is to come; but they are 4 and 6 and I don't expect them to understand the gravity of the change that is to come. Please have them in your prayers as they gear up to accept a new little one into our family.
3. Work and Foster Parenting Balance. Jeff and I will continue to work at our jobs. Please pray for our employers as we will need employers that are understanding to our next stage in life and are able to grant us some flexibility in our jobs.
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